Letter to Azure

Dear Azure,

I think I may be in denial about how old you really are. The older you get, the older I get. I have to say, though, that the last four years have been quite an adventure.

I have to tell you, I knew from the beginning, when you were in my belly, what kind of a person you would be. When I would poke at you, you kicked back. When I read to you and then stopped, you would go crazy in my belly until I started to read to you again. You always knew what you wanted and how to get it. You don't mess around with nonsense. You see what you want and you go after it.


Every time I watch you with people, I notice how you are a leader. You show people what to do and how to do it your way. I know this will come in handy for you when you are older. I can see how your leadership will influence those around you because you lead with kindness. I see how you behave with you sister most times and how you treat your friends. I watched you once, running with your friends at preschool. When Claire tripped and fell, you stopped to help her up and give her a hug. All of your friends stopped running and watched you. All of the moms were impressed and wanted to know how I had taught you to love your sister and the truth is- I didn't. You are a naturally loving person. You love and you lead. And you always do it by example. You have taught me so much just by your loving and kind soul. I couldn't have asked for a better first child.

I want you to know that even when there is a lot of drama going on between us and we are butting heads all the time, I still love you. I love you even when you don't listen or follow directions. I am trying to listen to you because I know that you understand things as a child that sometimes and adult can't understand. Because you are my first child, I feel like I am learning with you and I hope that I don't fail you as a mother and make mistakes. I want you to stick with your education and expand your knowledge of the world and everything in it. I want the Gospel to be a huge part of your life and I hope that you will always stick with your values and morals and be an example to everyone with them.

I promise that I will do my best to be the best mom you could ask for, even if it means that I have to tell you no to keep you safe, or if I tell you to do something that I want you to finish, or even if it means not going out with that yucky guy. Remember, I am doing it all out of love.

With all my heart,
Mom